What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted
by suninrain
Summary: Slowly reality was creeping in and the way Daniel quickly aborted to the bathroom I knew this had been a mistake, I had been a mistake. With the realization that I would never have him again, I fell into sleep. Chapter 3 is up!
1. Chapter 1

**What Becomes Of the Broken Hearted**

**WARNING: This chapter is very NC-17 so if you under 18 or do not wish to read such scenes, please do not read this chapter and wait for the next chapter. I will give an overview of this chapter in Chapter 2.**

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Ugly Betty or it's characters. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to infringe on anyone's rights.

A/N: I am still continuing An Unlikely Perfection, and plan to have a chapter up tonight. But this idea came to me in my sleep and wouldn't get out my head till I wrote it. Please let me know If you like It and if I should continue. Also readers should take note that I'm not sure how realistic the intimate scene below is since I have no real experience in that department my self so I go off stories I've read and what I think it would be like. So feel free to comment on ways I could've made it better or what you thought didn't fit

I apologize for any errors, they are all mine. Please R/R. Thank you.

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Chapter 1

It was raining. The sky was an angry gray and the wind blew like it was trying to knock us over. It probably could have if I wasn't concentrating so hard on it _not _knocking me over and not looking at Daniel. The not looking at Daniel was the hardest. But then when I did look and saw how broken his eyes were, the water on his cheeks that had nothing to do with the rain. It was easier to look away then. It was easier to take notice of the big black umbrellas losing the fight against the wind, the crowd of black that cocooned me. The casket being lowered into the ground. Daniel had looked away before proceeding to walk away. I tried to catch his arm but he was too quick.

The drive back in the limo was quiet and yet it seemed filled with this loud something that I didn't know how to decipher. What do best friends say when their best friend's father has died?

A few weeks prior Daniel and Mr. Meade had this big argument. I mean they had arguments all the time; most of them stemming from Mr. Meade's complete lack of loyalty and inability to give Daniel the love and support he needed but that last argument was different. Both of their voices were raised and angry but I still couldn't hear a word they said. But Daniel had that look like he had been punched in the stomach, he seemed to say a few words behind clenched teeth that was probably barely above a whisper. It wasn't long after that when Mr. Meade left. He, too, looked a little off kilter.

A few weeks later, April 28th to be exact. Me and Daniel were in the office, late, way pass business hours trying to meet a deadline. Daniel's cell phone rung. He had answered with his usual bravado but then it seemed to fade gradually until his face seemed to go blank. Daniel's father had a heart attack. He was pronounced DOA. Dead on arrival.

I knew Daniel took blame for his father's death and every time I tried to dissuade him he got this cold look in his in his eyes and he spoke in deathly calm tones. " Betty you don't know. So please don't act like you do."

Daniel kept his gaze out the window, I could have not been there really and maybe I wasn't. Not to him anyway. I wanted to speak. I wanted to say something to take his pain away or at least that look in his eyes bust just one look from him, the look that begged me not to say anything disarmed me so I sat back. What do you say? Nothing. Nothing at all.

When we had arrived at Daniel's apartment night was falling and the rain seemed to be tapering off but there was still a light tapping on the window panel. I took to tidying up Daniel's apartment. He had slouched on the couch just staring off into space, rarely he would chance a glance at me, hoping we wouldn't share glances. Yeah I know it was ironic.

"Daniel, are you hungry? I could make you something if you want. I'm not sure what you have but-" Daniel cut me off.

" Betty stop! I am not hungry and my place is fine the way it is. Just…STOP!" His voice reached momentum as he raised a flat palm to the air in conjunction to what he was saying. He stalked off to his bedroom, running an agitated hand though his hair.

I felt like I was doing more damage than good so after I finished up tidying his apartment I picked my shoes off the floor and went to his room. Daniel was laying on his bed looking up into the darkened room. He had removed his shirt and now was only clad in his black dress pants.

" I'm sorry I guess I'm being more of a nuisance than a help. I think it would be best if I just went home. But if you need anything you have my number." I smiled although it came out watery but I am sure he saw clean through me. It killed me that there was nothing I could do to make this easier on him.

"I'm sorry." Daniel whispered. He didn't have to say more. I knew he was sorry for yelling, he was sorry that I couldn't be of more help. But then Daniel was reaching for my arm trailing his hand along my arm to my hands, removing the shoes from my grip. "Stay" He whispered as equally quiet. For some reason I knew that 'Stay' was dangerous but I still allowed him to remove the shoes from my hold. He then took my hand and swayed me to sit on the bed.

"Thank you." He whispered and I hadn't realized that Daniel had moved because his mouth was right by my ear. "Thank you for being here even when I'm being a complete asshole. Thank you for never leaving me even when you probably should. Thank you for being my friend." Daniel had breathed this all into my ear and even though I didn't understand where he was going with this I knew it was no where good. Before I could finish my thoughts Daniel was kissing me. So this was seduction?

I admit I had let the kiss go on longer than I should have but after the shock wore off I got lost in how warm his lips were and the way he kissed me, like he had done it a hundreds times before. Like I mattered to him. But I let myself get caught up even though I knew it was some fantasy because I would never matter to Daniel like he mattered to me. It was the way of the world. Guys like him didn't fall for girls like me.

I managed to breakaway no matter how brief it was. I was breathing hard and having a hard time getting my words out "Daniel…Daniel we can't-" he didn't allow me to finish he put a finger to my mouth. And even though I knew all the reasons why we shouldn't do this, among them being that we were friends and that he just wanted a way to not remember today, he silently begged me to forget.

He took my silence as acceptance and maybe it was, I'm not sure but he kissed me and I didn't fight this time. I gave in. It was a moment I would live to regret but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this would be the only time I would get to make love to the man I love.

The kiss became less anxious and hasty as Daniel realized that I was no longer putting up a fight and it became soft, tentative and exploring. I was scared of the feeling that was growing inside. The feeling that I had never felt before. Desire? Need? Want?

He kissed down my neck, softly sucking before gently biting down on the skin of my neck. It seemed like every nip inflamed the need already growing inside me and I knew I would have a bruise tomorrow. I didn't care. He continued his tour downward grappling for the edges of my dress and pulling it over. I was briefly frightened as I had never been this exposed to anyone before. But he didn't give me a chance to ponder it because in a blink all I was dressed in was my under wear and my bra. He darted his mouth back towards my ear " You always try to hide yourself from me. But You're too late. I've already figured out how beautiful you are. How sexy you are." He nibbled down my ear and I didn't recognize the sound from my mouth or the hardwired feeling running through me. He finally unhooked my bra kissing each of my breast with adore.

Another gasp escaped me when he touched me through my panties. He didn't stop he kept moving his fingers in a circular motion over the thin material and I was almost embarrassed that I wanted him to stay there. His kissed down my chest to my tummy and came to the tip of my underwear, hooking two hands in the band and pulling them down and under. I adverted my eyes from his almost sure I would see revulsion mirrored in them.

" Look at me" Daniel demanded softly, his voice coarse. When I met his eyes, I was surprised when I looked up into his eyes and saw desire and hunger and something else I wasn't sure how to classify. We kept eye contact until I felt his fingers enter me, moving in and out and I couldn't stop the sounds from my mouth, the words I could barely hear in my own head because my heart was beating so fast. He moved his mouth to each of my nipples sucking and biting them while he continued his ministrations. All I knew was that I didn't want him to stop.

I felt something break in me, it was the most intense feeling I had ever felt and I screamed as I reached my pinnacle. Daniel chose this time to kiss me, it was sweet and lingering until our mouths only connected enough to breathe each other's air and my moans were now his.

I'm not sure whether it was seconds or minutes that I was lost in my haze but Daniel was already prepared, having put on a condom. He looked powerful in that moment and I was a little scared off the next step I wanted to take but had never taken before in my life.

His fingers were lightly tracing my hip maybe to calm the uneasiness he knew I was feeling. He locked eyes with me as if asking for my permission, I kept my eyes on him and nodded slightly.

He entered me slowly, carefully and meticulously and groaning as he waited for me to adjust. I gripped the sheets at the feeling. I was getting annoyed with myself cause as much as I wanted to feel comfortable enough for him to continue it still felt incredibly painful, like I was being torn apart.

" Relax baby" he whispered behind gritted teeth. Despite the fact that I knew how much Daniel needed me to adjust he still was insistent on not hurting me and waiting until I was completely ready. So I willed myself to relax as much as possible.

" More" I whispered that's when he was able to move. In the beginning the pain far outweighed the pleasure but then the pleasure started to take fore front and the way Daniel kept kissing me left me needy and wanting to be as close to him as possible.

At first Daniel moved in and out of me slowly, taking his time and kissing me sporadically through out our coupling but then his moments transcended into an act of urgency and need. He kissed me roughly, nipping my lips as his moved in me more deliberately and urgently. I felt my climax building and my moans became louder as did Daniel's, which told he was also close. My hips bucked on the own accord in meeting with Daniel's and I went over the edge with a loud whimpering sound.

My eyes felt really heavy but before I drifted into to sleep I was still minimally aware of Daniel still moving in me with quick thrust before he too became undone with my name on his lips. I think I smiled that he had said my name. Slowly reality was creeping in and the way Daniel quickly aborted to the bathroom, I knew this had been a mistake, I had been a mistake. With the realization that I would never have him again, I fell into sleep.

**A/N**: How did you like it? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

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What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted

Overview of chapter 1: Daniels father has died. In a desperate moment to forget and Betty's overwhelming need to take Daniel's pain away they sleep together. Betty feels as though Daniel regrets it and knows she's just what she never wanted to be, Daniel's one night stand.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I already know the beginning of this chapter is going to confuse some folks but just continue reading and It will all fall into place. As always, I love to hear your feedback.

Rating: This chapter is rated PG

For disclaimers please see first chapter. Thank you.

Chapter 2

8 years later.

" Mia…about that assignment you gave me." I started but Mia just raised her eyebrow, as she turned around in her chair to face me. I had this all perfectly planned out, what I was going to say and _how_ I was going to say it. But the moment I thought about him, my words got mixed and I had forget all my perfectly good explanations except the one big obvious one. I braved it anyway and continued on.

"I can't do it. The more obvious reason being that I have Jamie. Secondly I..I am really not about flights and traveling. You know I'm more of a land type of girl…you know preferring to live and all.-"

" Betty, you're the only one not working on a story and I really need this coverage. Daniel Meade starting his own fashion label is like huge. Really it's genius. Since he already heads a fashion magazine it only makes sense that he'd be the driving force behind some rags. At his fashion show I want you to ask invading, prying questions. I want everything he didn't mean to let go. Which is also why I really want you to go I know you'll give me a hundred and ten percent. And about Jamie, just take him with you. I mean, that's why I made sure you had two tickets. Plus you get to call a fancy hotel home for a few days. All paid for by moi. All this for a little five minute conversation with Daniel Meade. Really I'd say it is a kick ass deal." My Boss said with a smile that almost had me questioning, what was really so wrong. But Then I remembered that I hadn't seen Daniel in almost 8 years and…

" Go along now. In two days you'll be in glorious Los Angeles." In two days I would be in hell. I gave her my just kill me now smile and left her office.

I sat on the porch for a long time that night. It was nice out, it would be summer soon and Jamie's birthday was in about a week. He would be Seven. Seven years is a long time. In seven years time I had managed to become an article writer for a now very prominent Latino magazine. Although sometimes they used me as a back up copy editor to when Maria was out. Lucky I came aboard when it was just getting it's wings so I felt really proud to see the magazine blossom. Unfortunately for a while I had to take a pay cut because the company was just out and coming and so we still needed a lot of exposure and made little profit. Finally I moved out from dad and Hilda about 4 years ago. Dad had died about 2 years ago. Somehow I'm still getting used to that one. But now that the magazine was very successful I was doing ok for me and Jamie.

Jamie. He was the purpose of my existence and I loved that little boy, more than I had loved anything in my life. But there was someone who came close. His father.

My thoughts were interrupted when a just awoken Jamie came at the mouth of the balcony, where the door was slightly ajar from the apartment. He was rubbing his eyes, but when he dropped his hand his blue eyes looked like the sky after a storm. It almost knocked the wind out of me in its familiarity. God, how familiar those eyes were. They always seemed the most intense after Jamie woke up. His hair was a disarray but he was still the cutest little boy on the block, yeah maybe I'm biased.

" Mommie, what are you doing out here?" His voice was soft, little boy-ish and still a little sluggish from sleep.

"Thinking honey. Just thinking. Come here sweetie." He padded his little feet over to me and I picked him up and he laid his head against my chest, as I wrapped my arms around him.

" What do you think about going to LA with mommy on Friday?" I asked in soft tones.

" Los Angeles? Cool! Do we get to ride in an airplane?!" I was surprised at Jamie's excitement, his head jolted up and his eyes were glowing. My boy was excited about traveling.

" Yup we get to ride in a plane. You're not scared?" I asked because I sure was.

" Nope. It's gonna be so cool, wait till I tell all my friends." He jumped off me and I knew he was heading for the phone. I laughed behind him.

When Jamie was done with the phone I called Hilda.

" So what are you gonna do?" Hilda asked kind of angst-y.

" I am going to go do my job and then come home." I said with a easiness I didn't feel. No the churning, retching feeling in my stomach was definitely not calm.

" Your sure?"

"Yeah. It's what's best."

"You know I don't get back till Friday morning but I could notice Jamie until you got back."

" I probably would have taken you up on the offer. But Jamie's all excited about it now. I wouldn't dare take it away from him. Hopefully everything will be fine. It will be fine." I said hoping my words proved to be true.

The packing and getting ready for the trip was actually more of a pain than I had imagined. Jamie insisted on picking out his own clothes but when I went back to check he had forgot underwear, undershirts and socks.

Then I had the most difficult time picking out what I wanted to wear. Nothing seemed right. I mean really what was right to wear to a fashion show where everyone was likely to upstage you anyway? I will say that over the years my fashion sense had gotten better, a lot better. I still have my own funky flare but working in the business for a while you pick up a few things.

We finally got to the airport but it was night out and I could tell Jamie was tired even through all his excitement about riding in a plain. He had lasted through take-off and then was out like a light.

I couldn't fall asleep. I couldn't even get comfortable. But I knew it had nothing to do with the seats. My nerves were shot and I couldn't get my thoughts to slow down. I had that trapped feeling like I was being kept somewhere till I would be delivered some place where I knew I would be hurt and unable to stop it. Dramatic? Maybe.

The only thing that seemed to calm me was the sight of Jamie balled up, sleeping peacefully in the chair. He brought a smile to my face and most of the ride I concentrated on him. I closed my eyes briefly and said a prayer. Please let us make it safe. Please let us survive this trip and allow us to return home in one piece. Amen.

A/N: Please R/R. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted**

**A/N**: This is a really short chapter but I had to post something because I haven't updated in a while. Plus this was a way to get my cousin's death off my mind. We weren't really close but now I kind of regret not getting to know him better. But I am comforted knowing he's in a better place. Thanks to all those who read and reviewed. I know some of you have questions as to how Jamie came about, like I knew some of you would. I won't give the story away but I will tell you that there is an explanation and it will be explained in an upcoming chapter. Also this chapter does contain a narrated section where Betty is not speaking in POV.

Thank you for continuing to read and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know how you like what you read. Thanks!

Disclaimers: Please see first chapter

**Chapter 3**

We arrived in Los Angeles in early morning. Jamie didn't even wake in the transition between the air port and the hotel. He was now asleep in bed but I knew he wouldn't be for much longer. It was nearing 10 a.m. and having just woken up myself not even half an hour ago I was ready for a shower and a little food.

Jamie was up before I got out the shower. He had came running in the bathroom having to pee and talking a mile a minute.

" So ma do you have to do magazine stuff all day or can we can do stuff?" Jamie asked and I was always amazed how Jamie could just go from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds. Sleep was still in his eyes and voice and yet he was ready to explore the town. Little boys were a mystery.

" Well little man I am happy to report that I don't have to do magazine stuff until tonight at the fashion show, so I'm your captive till 9 p.m. tonight."

" Yeah! I already know what I want to do too…" He said going on as he was washed his hands and exited the bathroom leaving the door open as he went back into the living room.

I smiled briefly before I remember tonight would be no easy task. It would be a wonder as to how anyone could look at Jamie and not know.

I let the heated water wash over my body a little longer before I turned off the faucet. I allowed myself to be excited about spending the day with Jamie because I didn't normally get the chance to spend time with Jamie as much as I would like.

#

"Paul I will not have stick figures in my show. That girl needs medical attention the last thing she needs is to be promoting herself on some run way with my clothes on like this is "in". Besides the fact that it isn't healthy, she doesn't look appealing. She's _drowning _in the clothes not wearing them. Which, call me crazy, but I think defeats the purpose. Tell her she is released from contract until she is at a healthy weight…she did not uphold her part of the deal." Daniel said with finality to his fashion show director before Paul scurried out the room. He would admit he could be a pushover at times but this was one thing he was adamant about. As part of his contract the girls were required to be at a healthy wealth or higher. And maybe ten years ago he wouldn't have cared...didn't care. But A lot of things had changed. He doesn't think he would recognize himself ten years ago ..before ..before he met Betty.

He wondered if she would watch his fashion on TV. If she would like his clothes. If she would be proud of him. He tried not to think about her much…he would admit it wasn't an easy task.

But he remembers that time she was up on that runway for the charity fund raiser and maybe for the first time he realized just how beautiful she was. How confident she could be when people weren't trying to cut her down. He remembered her exact words afterwards when he asked her how she felt being up there she said " For once in my life I felt pretty, I felt powerful not because I had on expensive clothes or because important people were watching me but because by being up there and not being a size two I was telling all the girls like me…that they could do it too...that they were beautiful."

Daniel had never heard something so poetic or true in his life. He wanted Betty to feel like that always.

He didn't allow himself to think about her often because it burned to know he had screwed up probably the best thing in his life for a night he to this day, still, regretted.

He shook his head as if to clear it. He wouldn't let his mind get away from him again. In a few hours he would have a fashion show to run.

#

It was a nice day out so I was able to get away with a sun dress and a button-up sweater. Jamie picked out a pair of shorts and a matching shirt. We first went to the movies, Jamie got a kick out of how much more glamorous movie going was here then where we lived. But New York could get glitzy too but not in our part of town.

We then went to get some lunch. Jamie had a big appetite for a little boy his size.

" Wow, you were hungry Jamie." I said with an astonished smile as he finished off his last slice of pizza, the last one of three big slices.

" Yup and it was good too, mommy. Pizza is my favorite." He said rubbing his stomach with a big grin on his face. Right then a man with his presumed to be son sitting on his shoulders walked by, laughing. Jamie studied them closely with a fading grin, he had this longing look in his eyes that always tore at me. He watched the man and his son until they were out of sight.

There seemed to be a pregnant pause, one in which I knew would result in Jamie asking hard questions. Questions I didn't have answers for or questions I couldn't have answers for.

"Mommy?" Jamie started.

I closed my eyes briefly, the thought of his father still hurt so much.

" Yes honey?"

" Where does my dad live?"

" He lives all over. He travels a lot. He's not the type to stay in one place honey, you know business." I said quickly and uncomfortably even though I haven't told Jamie the whole story about his father I never lied to him and wouldn't start.

" Do you think he could travel and come see me. Maybe business could take him to New York." Jamie asked hopefully.

" Honey like I told you. He doesn't know about you sweetie. But I'm sure if he knew you were his he'd love you. Look at those eyes and that smile; how could he not?" I asked pinching his cheeks and smiling, but it didn't humor Jamie too much, the sad line of his mouth still tainted his face.

" So why can't we tell him?" Jamie asked in frustration already aware of my answer because this, unlike the previous questions, was one he asked frequently.

" Honey It's complicated ." I didn't know if Daniel would completely hate me because the night he regretted produced a child. If he cared at all. It was starting to get a little windy, I chose to be distracted.

" It's getting a little chilly. Let's go get something warm. How about hot chocolate?."

" Okay" Jamie said begrudgingly, giving in only because Jamie loved anything chocolate and I used it shamelessly to end the conversation.

The day had gone by in a haze of fun and messy foods. Jamie wore me out but he still seemed to be a bundle of energy. I wouldn't be getting any rest anytime soon though, It was time for me and Jamie to get ready for the fashion tonight. Lord give me strength.


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